tough choices

Here i am again, suprising isnt it ? 10 years ago i was barely 19 and without a care in the world i packed up and moved to a little gold mining town called Kalgoorlie. With only $170 to my name, no car, no job and not knowing anyone i went on a whim and went to the town that promises a job, but thats only relying on word of mouth. So i jumped on the prospector and headed to kal and the first thing i did was go to cash mart to buy a $30 push bike, my only method of transport. Then i went to the gold miners caravan park and got a single man quaters no bigger then a shoe box so to speak for $90 and only leaving $50 for food and ill tell you what living off chips and bread for a week aint to healthy for ya but it worked. The next day i headed out on my little push bike and travelled kalgoorlie top to bottom in search of a job and low and behold within 2 days i managed to score a high paying job and with that job they also paid my accommodation and meals in the town of kal, and to top that off i forged friendships with people that have lasted for 10 years and the rest so to speak is history........ or is it. Fast forward 10 years and strangely here i am again the only difference is i have a little bit more money and i have a car but i still not know anyone, and its still in a forgien town but the biggest difference is its on the other side of the country and ive left behind 2 beautiful children. Now people may ask why? Well you see i was so in love with this woman but it fell apart and turned into something that spiralled out of control, and i did things that i wished i hadnt done, and she did things im sure she wished she didnt do but it got to a stage that it was do or die, and i was dying inside with this woman, it wasnt all her doing but she was a large part of it and i made a choice and that was i wanted to live. Now dont get me wrong i love my children more then life itself but my hand has been forced in a way that i was sure to be dead or in jail and i didnt want to take that path in life. And so here i am pretty much in the same position as i was 10 years ago. Is this decision going to bite me in the arse? who knows either way it wasnt working where i was and when you love someone the way i did and already dying inside that nearly finished me off. But i guess destiny has a much larger role for me to play i guess time will tell